Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
