Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
