Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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