spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
birth control should be required to get into college
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
