im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
