Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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