I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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