yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
