awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
