its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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