I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
