Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize