whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I wish I only lived at night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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