I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
