The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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