Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
