I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
