Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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