"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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