Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
