I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We have so much sex to catch up on
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
