Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize