I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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