For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
