question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
