She is in my trunk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
farters have to be the big spoon...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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