My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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