I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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