i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
