i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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