I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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