we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
