I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
