They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
