ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
