I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
