Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
