Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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