literally had 100 drinks last night.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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