did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
