this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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