Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
