i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
