I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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