Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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