This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
