Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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