just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
