So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
