i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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