I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
