all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
