She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
