how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
