i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
