He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
be right there i have to get my cape
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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