You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize