hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
